I was not exactly what you’d call a nightlife aficionado before I made the move to LA a year ago. Since then, I’ve seen my fair share of Hollywood nightclubs, and I gotta say, they’re pretty sweet. That’s coming from a woman whose idea of a good time back east was playing twenty straight dollars’ worth of Def Leppard on the jukebox at the kind of bar that still has ashtrays. In sweatpants.
Much as I love to white trash it up, I’ve recently begun to understand what all the fuss is about re: electronic dance music, and so have acquired an appreciation for experiencing that sort of thing in a particular environment, namely one that makes me feel like a fancy lady. That’s where Hollywood nightclubs come in, with all their glamour and dazzle and sweet DJs and sweaty dance floors and bright lights and massive speakers. They’re the kind of places that make me feel like it’s okay to be thirty years old and wearing fishnet stockings on a Monday night. It’s Hollywood, baby!
The problem, though, is accessibility. As your average hillbilly, I’d go to these places and wonder how in the world other clubgoers ended up at these stageside tables with their giant bottles of Grey Goose, or how they got themselves on the all-important guest list, bypassing the lines and cover charges that I stood in and paid like a regular chump. Truly this was the superior way to enjoy this experience, I thought. But how? I don’t have shitloads of money, and my advanced age and butter face make prostituting myself for VIP service nearly impossible.
Enter Discotech, the app that exists to make your nightlife easier. All of the tedious bullshit you hate about going out — getting on the guest list, reserving table service, hell, even finding out which acts are playing at which clubs on which night — is a thing of the past. No more phone calls, no more confusion, no more snotty promoters, and best of all, Discotech’s found a way to reward the clubgoing and cash-spending that now only gets you hungover and broke. Suck on that, Mom! I’m never gonna grow up!
I met Discotech co-founder Ian Chen this week at Sound, one of my favorite Hollywood spots, and we had a nice little chat about the app to the sounds of Fur Coat and Jon Dadon. An avid clubgoer himself, Ian and his co-founders recognized a need for a one-stop app to simplify the going-out experience. With Discotech, you’re able to see at a glance which acts are playing at which LA clubs on which nights, like so:
Discotech also allows you to place yourself on some clubs’ guest lists, often garnering free admission if you show up before a certain time, which the app handily notes for you. You can also purchase tickets to venues and get in using just your phone — no printing required. Got questions about the dress code or the type of music featured at a club? Discotech has you covered. You should see the table reservation feature, too. The app makes it possible to compare the cost and details of table reservation at each club within seconds, saving you approximately a million years on the phone or your computer trying to see where you’re getting the most bang for your buck.
One of the best and most notable features of Discotech is its loyalty program. You’re spending hundreds of dollars on bottle service and table reservations — shouldn’t you get something in return besides that nearly-imperceptible nod of recognition from the doorman? When you book tables through Discotech, you earn points that buy all kinds of goodies from the very clubs you’ve been attending, like free champagne and booze.
Starting to sound pretty good, isn’t it? To sweeten the deal, Discotech’s offering a promotion to new users in which you receive a free bottle of champagne with your first table reservation before April 1st at any of LA’s most popular venues: Sound, Create, The Abbey, Avalon, Supperclub, and Hemingway’s Lounge, to name just a few. In addition, in partnership with Uber (the crowdsourced taxi service that’s about to change your life if it hasn’t already), new app users also receive a $50 Uber ride credit so they can get good and hammered without worrying about scoring that fifth DUI.
To celebrate their official debut, Discotech’s holding a launch event this Friday, March 14th, at the Emerson Theatre in Hollywood. Just show your Discotech app at the door and receive free admission and open bar from 10:00 to 11:30 that night, and enjoy the first of many hook-ups that Discotech will be bringing you. And hey, groupies, I’ll be there. Like I’d miss an open bar!