In case you were living under a rock the past week, Beyonce is a total badass and promoting an album is for suckers.

As a Christmas surprise to her vast international fanbase, the former Destiny’s Child star and queen of R&B released her fifth album with zero promotion. This turned out to be the perfect way to promote a new album. The self-titled effort was released only on digital format and features a short film for each of the 14 tracks. It turns out that the compact disc format is officially as hip as Beta.

Apparently the megastore Target is also as hip as Beta. In a statement made by the corporation, they said, “At Target we focus on offering our guests a wide assortment of physical CDs, and when a new album is available digitally before it is available physically, it impacts demand and sales projections. While there are many aspects that contribute to our approach and we have appreciated partnering with Beyonce in the past, we are primarily focused on offering CDs that will be available in a physical format at the same time as all other formats.”

Allow me to translate. “At Target we sell a lot of things to a lot of people. For some reason people are still buying CDs; whether they are stubbornly attached to album inserts, don’t know that mp3s are better quality than compact disc, or they are too old to understand that you can play music on a digital format, we are still selling the medium. Beyonce did not tell us in advance about her album because she does not need us to reach the top of the charts and that hurt our feelings. Therefore our stores will not carry her new album, even though we do carry iTunes downloads for other artists…that’ll show her, right?”

Target is just feeling a little sad they couldn’t market Beyonce’s new album in a way that best suited their sales report. Beyonce’s decision to only release digitally and without promotion is not only an intelligent way to release her album, it is the future. CDs and DVDs are a thing of the past. It’s 2014 and Target just wants control of everything they sell. They are throwing a company-wide temper tantrum.

Beyonce’s album can be found on iTunes only. She has described it as a “visual album” coinsiding with the videos, so it naturally makes sense to pair it with a digital release, giving the album an artistic cohesiveness. Beyonce is proving that she’s not only one of the best pop sensations of our time, but she is the master of her own destiny. Well played, Sasha.

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